What Hookup Culture? Despite Tech and Tinder, College Dating Hasn’t Changed Much

CHAMPAIGN, Ill. — For all the panic over hookup culture and dating apps destroying romance, new research from the University of Illinois suggests college students still follow remarkably similar relationship patterns to those from a decade ago.

A study tracking how college students describe romantic relationship development found that young adults in 2022 move through nearly identical stages as their 2012 counterparts, based on comparison with another study conducted a decade prior. The new findings, published in Personal Relationships, upend popular narratives about technology fundamentally reshaping how young people form romantic connections.

“Their perspectives on relationships today aren’t that different from what they were 10 years ago — or even 10 years before that,” says lead study author Brian Ogolsky, from the University of Illinois, in a statement. “Instead, young adults are taking more diverse and multifaceted pathways through romantic partnering and considering a broader range of outcomes.”

The research reveals four distinct stages that college students consistently identify: “Flirtationship,” “Relationship Potential,” “In a Relationship,” and “Commitment or Bust.” These phases remained stable across the decade-long study period, suggesting that despite the rise of dating apps and social media, the fundamental blueprint for romance hasn’t been rewritten.

Between 2012 and 2022, dating app usage doubled from roughly 15% to over 30% among young adults. Tinder launched in 2012, Instagram became a relationship showcase, and smartphones became pocket staples. Yet college students don’t seem to view technology as altering their romantic playbook.

“They’re thinking about relationships in broad strokes,” says Ogolsky. “And we found it interesting that the centerpiece of relationships was not dating apps, artificial intelligence, or robots, or all the other things we may have predicted 25 or 40 years ago.”

The Four Stages of Modern College Romance

Researchers analyzed responses from 259 college students across two studies conducted 10 years apart. Participants were asked to describe the typical progression of romantic relationships in their own words.

Stage one, “Flirtationship,” encompasses initial attraction and testing compatibility. Students described this as the phase where they begin noticing appealing qualities in another person. Flirting happens both online and in person, with many relationships beginning as friendships before romantic feelings develop. Communication and getting to know each other play central roles, whether through texting, social media, or face-to-face interaction.

“Relationship Potential” follows, marked by increased time together and formal dates. Students clearly distinguished this phase from actually being in a relationship. During this stage, couples go on dates but haven’t established exclusivity yet.

“In our study, we used the term ‘relationship development’ to describe the activities we were investigating, but it became clear that participants did not view early behaviors as part of being in a relationship per se,” says Ogolsky. “Instead, they viewed flirting and even dating as part of a broader pattern of interpersonal interaction that may or may not eventually lead to the formation of a relationship.”

Stage three, “In a Relationship,” involves making things official and exclusive. Students emphasized the importance of labeling the relationship status, where flirting or physical involvement with others would constitute cheating. Physical and emotional intimacy typically develop during this phase, along with the introduction of partners to friends and family.

Stage four, “Commitment or Bust,” represents a crossroads where couples either commit long-term or break up. Students described this as when partners evaluate their future together and decide whether the relationship will progress to a serious commitment like marriage or end in separation. Conflict and obstacles often emerge during this phase as couples work through deeper issues.

Technology’s Surprisingly Small Footprint

One of the study’s most unexpected findings was how little students mentioned technology when describing relationship development. While researchers expected significant changes given the technological revolution of the past decade, students in both 2012 and 2022 focused on the same fundamental elements: communication, getting to know each other, and building intimacy.

When technology was mentioned, it was described matter-of-factly as another communication channel rather than a game-changing force. Students talked about Snapchatting or texting the same way previous generations might have discussed phone calls or face-to-face conversations.

There has been widespread concern about dating apps creating a “hookup culture” or altering relationship formation. While hookup culture has dominated research on college relationships, the actual students in this study rarely mentioned hooking up, and when they did, it was often in the context of established relationships rather than casual encounters.

This contradicts the perception that casual hookup culture is rampant on college campuses and suggests students still associate physical intimacy with more committed relationships.

Shifts in Relationship Milestones

While the overall progression remained consistent, researchers identified some telling changes in how students view relationship milestones. In 2012, students more frequently mentioned engagement as part of typical relationship development. By 2022, they were more likely to discuss moving in together instead.

This shift reflects broader demographic trends showing Americans are marrying later and living together before marriage more frequently. Students now perceive more variability in how people define their relationships and are considering a broader range of outcomes than they did a decade ago.

Students in 2022 also described social integration differently. While 2012 participants focused on meeting the family, 2022 students talked more broadly about integrating into each other’s social networks, including friends alongside family members.

Students also frequently mentioned that relationships often begin as friendships, supporting research showing that the “friends to lovers” pathway is common but understudied. This contradicts assumptions that most college relationships begin through hookups or dating apps.

Students in 2022 also mentioned more instances of relationship conflict and breakups compared to the 2012 participants, suggesting they may be more realistic about relationship challenges or more willing to acknowledge when relationships don’t work out.

Dating Isn’t Broken

Recent opinion pieces have declared that dating is broken, but these claims may be premature. College students don’t describe a broken system but rather one that has evolved while maintaining core patterns.

Technology appears to have simply provided new tools for age-old relationship behaviors. The fundamental human need to connect, test compatibility, and build intimacy remains unchanged, even if the methods have evolved.