BRISBANE — Dating apps are an extremely popular way to socialize and pick up others these days, but recent research suggests they might actually lead people to lower their standards as well.
According to researchers at the Queensland University of Technology in Australia, singles tend to have a clear idea as to what’s on their dating wish lists, but are actually more likely to go out with people they met online who don’t actually meet those requirements.
Behavioral economists Stephen Whyte and Professor Benno Torgler were behind the research published as “Preference vs Choice in Online Dating” in the journal Cyberpsychology, Behaviour and Social Networking. They watched the behavior of nearly 42,000 people between the ages of 18 and 80 who were using an Australian dating site called “RSVP” from Jan. 2016 through April 2016. About 78 percent of the participants were men.
Whyte explained the intentions of the study.
“We looked at whether or not people actually contact people who match what they say is their ideal partner in their profile, and our findings show they don’t,” he says in a university release. “Stating a preference for what you are looking for appears to have little to no bearing on the characteristics of people you actually contact.”
Participants’ “wish lists” were comprised of seven categories for an ideal mate: hair color, eye color, body type, education level, personality type, political view, and religious affiliation. The authors determined that instead of searching until they found someone who met their dating wish list criteria, participants were likely to communicate with people who had only some of those characteristics.
In fact, the study showed that more than 65 percent of the contacts the participants made with potential dates on the site had one or less category that matched their wish list. About one in three contacts had zero matching attributes.
“Disclosure of ‘ideal’ partner preferences is a widely offered and commonly-used option for people creating a profile on online dating websites, but whether it’s effective or useful in helping people find that special someone is unclear,” says Whyte. “This study provides quite unique findings in that people may state a preference for an ideal partner but they are more than happy to initiate contact with potential love interests that bear no resemblance whatsoever to that ‘Mr or Mrs Perfect’ they initially think they prefer over all others.”
In addition to their main findings, the authors also noted that men tended to be more open-minded than female in contacting potential mates with fewer matches — except for men in their 60s or older, who were more selective.
The study is limited in the sense though, that it’s hard to say how many people hold out for their perfect person when socializing in real life as opposed to online.
How is this surprising? They actually had to do a study to figure this out? Of course we all have an ideal mate. Mine looks a lot like Catherine Zeta-Jones or Selma Hayek. But neither of those women or any women who look anything like them would be likely to give me the time of day. So, being realistic, I would never hold out for my ideal mate. In a phrase borrowed from ticket buying sites, we usually go with the “best available” and if it works out, we define a new “ideal mate”. 😉
My ideal is Elizabeth Banks. I had to decide whether I was going to wait for her to find me and, per Steve Jobs, not “settle”. I decided to settle. Trying to hang onto Elizabeth would have been exhausting, so I’m good with the way it worked out.
you can always drink them up to at least an eight.
Easy–women have a 1:3 ratio advantage over men on this site. So they can afford to be more selective. Men are competing for a much smaller pool of available women, and therefore cannot afford to be as selective. When you have 75% of your sample population having to lower standards due to scarcity, your results are going to be skewed in that direction. Online dating does not cause people to lower their standards–scarcity of available women causes men to have to lower their standards. Who writes this stuff? You are dumber for it.
Best results come when a man learns to live with himself and not be needy or willing to take over the saviour role by rescuing a woman who has multiple children by other men.
CORRECT!
THAT’S ASSUMING THAT THE MEN WOULD CHOOSE TO NOT TO CHOOSE. I FOR ONE EITHER WANT A GOOD LOOKING HORNY BLOND WITH A STRONG WORK ETHIC OR I PREFER NOTHING! I REFUSE TO SETTLE FOR LESS!
You sound like a real catch…
Another nonsensical study. Men date down, Women date up. Men lower their standards generally. Look at the even more Scientific Study from OKC, where the 80% of Women polled would only date the top 20% of Men, thinking somehow they were better looking and had more to offer than 80% of the Men on the Site. It’s a Seller’s Market. Women don’t email or pursue Men, Men pursue Women (on these dating Websites) so Women have the irrational and ridiculous belief that they actually have more choices (getting dozens of emails a week) than they do have in the real world. It all comes crashing down when their “ideal” Guy dates them long enough to bed them, then doesn’t call them the next day. But keep Hope alive Ladies!!! LMAO!!
Some women will email men. It’s happened numerous times to me, sometimes leading to excellent results.
then why haven’t you found the right one? Enough said.
Actually, I think I recently did! 🙂
Lucky you. The vast majority of men on the online dating sites get goose-egg for their efforts.
Go through around 50 and you’ll find one. Took me 58 times and they usually split the bill so “I wouldn’t expect sex”, which I in no way was. Crack the egg and you gotta make breakfast. Don’t and you can walk away totally clean without a crazy stalker.
MEN DRINK MORE THAN WOMEN AND THE SETTLE FOR WHAT THEY CAN CATCH. OLD MEN WITH MONEY SEEK YOUNG HOT LOOKING BLONDS. NO MYSTERY THERE!
Sometimes, you get what you pay for. When you are rich, hot chicks are a dime a dozen.
A lot of women love money over looks. Better nest?
TRUE. WATER FINDS ITS OWN LEVEL.
I agree so never overdress and never talk money. Don’t try to “impress” them, treat it as if you are interviewing her for a job. The job of your mate, and there is always another women just around the corner.
IF YOU CONDENSED THAT DOWN YOU WOULD HAVE A GOOD BUMPER STICKER!
Dating 401
Never talk money, overdress or try to impress.
Don’t laugh, it’s a job interview for your better half.
I LIKE THAT FIRST LINE, BUT NEEDS A WOMAN ADDED TO IT. THE SECOND LINE NEEDS TWEAKING. CUT THE DON’T LAUGH AND KEEP THE REST.
NEVER TALK $, OVERDRESS OR SEEK TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
IT’S A JOB INTERVIEW FOR YOUR BETTER HALF
WHAT DO YOU THINK? THAT TOP LINE IS STILL A LITTLE LONG.
I like that one, but it will get your car keyed. Just saying……
I HADN’T CONSIDERED THAT. A TRUMP DECAL WILL TOO!
In less time than it takes to put it on.
HEY, I CREATED A PETITION AT THE WHITE HOUSE. GO THERE AND SIGN IT. I CALL IT THE CITIZEN… ACT. IT PUTS A $1,000 BOUNTY ON THE SCALPS OF ANYONE PERCEIVED TO BE AN ILLEGAL ALIEN. I NEED 99,999 SIGNITURES.
NEVER SEEK TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
IT’S A JOB INTERVIEW FOR YOUR BETTER HALF.
HOW’S THAT FOR A BUMPER STICKER?
doubtful..Westcoasters date money. Women will date ugly if there is money and gifts involved.
All true. Very true. Also, lots of skanky women looking for sex on the dating sites. They won’t admit it, but they are, and are often crazy themselves. Call me biased, but IMO the “women” are by far the worst. Precious few are interested in any real relationship, and they really don’t want to put anything into a relationship, which is why they are online dating. A reasonably attractive woman simply does not have to utilize these sites to meet men, so if they are on there, 98% chance something is wrong with them. It wasn’t like this back in the 90’s when the internet was just college students and smart people.
That’s funny “men in their 60’s and older are more selective”. Really? That’s because they are looking for women in their 40’s who will accept them. If they have enough money that should work for them. Pathetic.
Actually it would make more sense to assume that they have already made their stupid mistakes and are looking for something specific.
You may have a point there.
Or maybe they have a lot of cash and have to be careful.
Lol. Same diff?
THAT MAKES SENSE TO ME!
There is a case to be made that people who find dates online and make themselves available to date online are by definition of a lower standard.
Online dating has a drastically imbalanced market. This article even states that 78% of the study participants were men. In the US, there are at least 10 guys per every woman on a typical dating site. So unlike men, women are dating “up” because of the multitude of choices.
So much cooler online
https://youtu.be/UE6iAjEv9dQ
https://cdn-webimages.wimages.net/051589bdfd851b764635ba5b6298cc49ccd863-wm.jpg?v=3
In this world of egotistical Hollywood everybody is a celebrity mentality, we believe that we are the superhero in our world, and we set our goals to the ideal level that nobody can live up to.
This is proof by people scrolling past the online dating profiles without pictures, and then gravitating towards the one’s that look the most pleasing.
Once you find a person, our expectations are so high, that we look for any reason to dump that person, and try to find a new one, and then complain that there is nobody out there.
This causes people to lie about themselves, lie about what they like and what they want in a date, and we continue to live in denial and disappointment.
Hollywood is fake. Life is not a fantasy, and if something is worth something, get up off that chair and work for it.
I have a friend, Ken (aka Cowboy) that lives in his parent’s basement. This app allows him to feel good about himself.
That funny dating apps and online dating allowing me to meet and interact with a lot more women and made me decide to go mgtow.
Mgtow is how men used to be. Congratulations on reaching adulthood. You might enjoy the website returnofkings. Have a blast.
What is mgtow mate?
See the definition here: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=MGTOW
Thanks Lumpy for the link. Yeah, mgtow, like it. Here’s a good quote about that…
“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is hard business. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.”
Rudyard Kipling (1865–1936)
ROFL!
Know a man who drives a real nice car, Dresses well, looks real nice. And lives in his parent’s basement. If you are shallow enough to judge by appearances you will get a nice empty person. Who looks like he can do better. 😉
WHAT VALUE IS A WOMAN WITHOUT GOOD LOOKS? THAT IS THE QUESTION!
Are you inbred?
This is not specific to online dating. The exact same thing happens in regular dating. People don’t really know what they want.
This is not surprising. There have been studies in the past that men use a scattergun approach, going after pretty much anything and they are dating optimists. Women, who through child birth, have more at risk in a relationship have to be more selective and realistic in their approach. This study seems to confirm those findings.
The typical male dating site ad, with a reasonably attractive picture, gets between 0-15 responses a day. A typical female ad, with a reasonably attractive picture, gets between 30-300 responses a day. While there are exceptions, in general women, if at all desirable, can sort through solicitations and pick and choose.
That said, you are correct that for the vast majority of men sheer volume is the best shot at success on a dating site.
Then you meet the women who posted their glamour pics and discover that it was taken 10 years and about 50 lbs earlier. I know that seems to sound snide, but honestly, that was my experience for a long time as well as the xperience of many other men I’ve known. I was more willing to accept the weight gain as long as the pic posted was honest. I suppose women probably could say the same or similar as well. Oh… and be honest if you are a single parent. Discovering that after a relationship begins is a cheap trick.
Honestly when single everyone has an ideal mate in mind but very few ever end up with that imaginary person, those who end up happily married for decades have married the person they shared the most values with and things like eye and hair color are not important.
There are ten females to every male in Washington DC where of so many males in Washington DC are gay.
Is that supposed to explain the swamp thing, then?
D.C. HIV/AIDS rates ‘higher than West Africa’ (USAtoday) 3/17/2009
“WASHINGTON (AP) — At least 3% of residents in the nation’s capital are living with HIV or AIDS and every mode of transmission is on the rise, according to a report to be released Monday by D.C. health officials….”Our rates are higher than West Africa,” said Shannon Hader, the administration’s director, who used to spearhead the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s work in Zimbabwe. “They’re on par with Uganda and some parts of Kenya.”..”
If you live there it’s not news. If you find out about it you say “WHAT!?!!!!” 😉
Hmmmm. No wonder so many women were willing to settle for Bill Clinton.
Many didn’t he forced himself of them.
Back in the 80s it was the other way around.
It’s mostly gay black men tho.
Yeah and yet those 10 females all act like the sun rises and sets on their a$$es. I lived in DC for years. DC women were the most stuck-up, “choosey” b!tches I have ever met. In a sea of women, only DC females could think their $hit didn’t stink. The lousy attitudes of them were half the reason I moved tf away. The traffic was the other half of the reasons.
Considering your attitude and your filthy mouth, I’d say they had a good reason to avoid you like the plague.
Kathy, darling, you know that I know that you know that I know that you know that I know that YOU wanna f*ck me in the a** with a large strap-on.
Just be honest, honey. Haven’t we always been honest with each other?
This is just disturbing on so many levels.
loser.
THAT comment alone is why no self-respecting intelligent woman would ever give you the time of day. You’re gutter trash and you know it.
My dearest, darling Katherine,
I endeavor, nay, implore you from the very depths of my soul, for you have so touched me there, so deeply, that I am moved to beseech your most passionate, fervent indulgence, nay, for your sincerest understanding of my nature, which before God and your luminescence, I cannot deny. From this place do I indulge you, as I say with all fervent devotion to truth: What in the Name of All-Mighty God makes you think I have ANY interest in meeting a self-respecting woman?
Dems fighting words friend , now she done gave you ups. So be a man and let her fly right over to my 1973 doublewide with a new that’s right I said new wood deck with the ice cooler filled with my Miller High life.
Now Kat he’s old news its me and you darling. I knows how’s to treets a real womans likes you.
WOW yeah !! I want you baby , I can tell you like it like rough . Im gonna stop by the hardware store and pick up a can of wd/40 and you just send me that address sweet thang.
Your game is terrible, obviously.
If you’ve seen what the online dating pool looks like you have 2 choices: lower your standards or stop dating.
Swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool doesn’t interest me.
honestly…most of all married couples are settlers…someone is settling for not being lonely. As such, divorce rates skyrocket. If you happen to be one of the few that found someone, then that is fantastic for you but MOST do not end up happy, married or otherwise.
That is patently untrue. Maybe in YOUR circle of losers it is.
I absolutely agree with you! Yet, finding the right mate can be very challenging depending on the environment one seeks them in. The bar scene is almost a sure way to end up with the wrong one. More often than not dating and marrying a coworker can be a complete bust that has real problems down the line with ones employer. Most people looking online at the average dating site are really only looking for quick and easy hookups, but true and genuine fulfilment and happiness happen when two people of like faith, who are both in agreement on living sincerely within the tenants (concerning marriage) of that faith to which both of them have legitimate respect of one another, who wait until the marriage has been ordained and believe that it is for life as ordained by God, they will have the very best chance at finding happiness and genuinly grow to love each other and who also have an active and monogamous sex life… that couples odds off success is off the charts a better chance of success than all others… period.
Way to condemn humanists and Buddhists, a**hole.
How old are you by chance? Just curious.
This is a very depressing fact for most men. What’s worse is you can settle for years and trick yourself into thinking things are OK. then, if you make the mistake of having kids with the wrong woman, she can and often will destroy you and them. For guys, there are many , many worse things than being alone or without children. Please don’t learn this the hard way, like I did.
People are desperate because they are needy!! Pathetic…
Might show some respect for them as apparently you are all together, others aren’t and need love and affection too don’t you think?
Joe Blow There is a big difference between need and want. It has nothing to do with respect, just the way it is. When we learn this we make high road decisions and much happier even by ourselves.
Just how do you surmise that difference between need and want? Purely semantical gamesmanship without knowing someone. And how have you authorized yourself as a relationship cop? I think it is so easy to just blurt out annonomously on the web you know. You might offer your assumptions with preface like IMO, or something like that to not seem like you are talking down to others.
Is your post defensive? Did I hit a nerve? I made a comment, rather than read into it why not read a book on the difference between our wants & needs as they are very different. No more replies from me, I’ve wasted enough of my time. Peace….
Few hundred words wore you down?
I am so glad that I am not growing up today. I think, given what I see of youth, it is impossible not to lower one’s standards.
AGREED. ALL FAT, UGLY AND STUPID!