1 In 3 Young People Hit Their Parents, And Some Keep Doing It Into Their 20s

Picture a 13-year-old shoving their mother during an argument about screen time. A 15-year-old throwing a phone at their father after being grounded. A 20-year-old punching a wall inches from a parent’s head during a heated discussion about money. These examples may sound extreme at first, but such occurrences are far more common than most may assume.

Nearly one in three young people reported acts of physical aggression toward their parents at least once across six surveys conducted between ages 11 and 24, according to a 13-year study that tracked more than 1,500 individuals from adolescence into adulthood. Perhaps more alarming: roughly 5% still engage in this behavior at age 24, when they have the size and strength to cause serious harm.

Published in European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, the research sheds light on what experts call “the most understudied form of family aggression in the general population.” While researchers have extensively documented how parents hurt children and partners hurt each other, physical violence flowing upward (from children to parents) has received far less attention. The findings reveal this hidden family violence follows a predictable pattern, peaks during middle school years, and crosses all demographic lines.

The Middle School Danger Zone

Swiss researchers checked in with the same group of children and their families six times over 13 years, starting when the kids were in first grade. At each point, they asked whether participants had hit, kicked, or thrown objects at their parents in anger during the past year.

The numbers peaked at age 13, when about 15% reported attacking their parents. That’s roughly one in seven middle schoolers. From there, rates dropped steadily through the teenage years and into young adulthood. By age 24, the rate fell to 5%, though that still means this behavior persists for a meaningful subset of young adults.

Males were somewhat more likely to be aggressive toward parents (36% versus 29% for females), but the gap was much smaller than for other types of physical violence, where males typically dominate the statistics. Both sexes followed the same basic pattern: increase during early adolescence, then decline.

The timing makes sense from a developmental standpoint. Early adolescence brings a perfect storm of heightened impulsivity, intense emotions, and family power struggles as teens push for independence. For many families, parent-child conflict spikes temporarily during these years. When teens lack skills to manage anger and frustration, some of those conflicts turn physical.

When the Violence Becomes Entrenched

The most troubling finding wasn’t about the overall numbers, it was the persistence. Teens who reported attacking parents at age 15 were 13 times more likely to do it again at age 17. Those who engaged in the behavior at age 17 were 10 times more likely to repeat it at age 20. By their early twenties, those who attacked parents at age 20 were nearly 18 times more likely to continue at age 24.

In other words, while many teens lash out at parents during a difficult developmental period, a subset gets stuck in the pattern. The behavior becomes increasingly stable over time. These young adults represent the highest-risk group, particularly given their physical capabilities. A shove from a 13-year-old differs dramatically from a punch thrown by a 24-year-old.

“Physical youth-to-parent aggression is among the most understudied forms of family aggression in the general population,” the researchers wrote. They noted that in clinical, child-welfare, and juvenile justice settings (where troubled families may eventually find themselves) prevalence rates reach as high as 85%. But until now, few studies have tracked how common the problem is in ordinary families or how it changes over time.

The Childhood Warning Signs

Researchers identified several red flags in childhood that predicted later violence toward parents. ADHD symptoms topped the list. Children showing more signs of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder had 26% higher odds of later attacking their parents, likely because ADHD often involves difficulties with impulse control. Even after accounting for how aggressive kids were in general, ADHD remained a significant risk factor.

Family experiences mattered enormously. Kids who experienced harsh parenting (corporal punishment, yelling, verbal aggression) showed 24% higher odds of later turning that aggression back on their parents. The finding is consistent with the cycle of violence researchers have documented for generations: children who experience aggression learn to use it themselves.

Conflict between parents also played a role. When parents reported significant disagreements with each other during their child’s early years, those children faced 17% higher odds of later parent-directed violence. Growing up in households where conflict goes unresolved teaches kids that aggression is how families handle disagreements.

Children who experienced violence outside the home (serious assaults, for instance) also faced higher risk. Interestingly, bullying victimization and general school problems didn’t show the same connection. Neither did bullying others, which actually showed a negative relationship, suggesting some kids direct aggression outward at peers rather than upward at parents.

Low self-control, delinquency, and early drinking or drug use all initially appeared risky, but these connections disappeared once researchers accounted for how aggressive kids were overall. In other words, these factors predicted general aggression, not specifically violence toward parents.

What Protects Families

For the first time, researchers also identified protective factors: things that shield families from this type of violence even when other risks are present.

Conflict coping skills made a major difference. Kids who learned to handle disagreements and negative emotions without aggression had 17% lower odds of later attacking parents. When arguments inevitably arise, children need tools beyond their fists to manage anger and frustration.

Involved parenting also protected families. Children whose parents stayed engaged in their lives and activities were 16% less likely to become aggressive toward those same parents. The quality of the parent-child bond appears to matter, not just in the moment but years down the line.

These protective factors helped all kids, not just those already showing aggression. That’s important because it suggests broad prevention efforts, or teaching all children better coping skills and encouraging all parents to stay involved, could reduce violence across families.

It Happens Everywhere

One finding surprised researchers: this type of violence affected families equally across income levels, cultural backgrounds, and family structures. Wealthy families weren’t protected. Neither were families with two parents versus one, or families born in Switzerland versus those who immigrated there.

The universality matters. Parent-directed violence isn’t something that only happens in “those” families. It happens in suburban households and urban apartments, in families with advanced degrees and families without, in tight-knit communities and transient ones.

The Silence Around Family Violence

When people think about family violence, they picture parents hurting children or partners hurting each other. Research on those forms of violence fills libraries. But physical aggression flowing the other direction, from children to parents, rarely makes headlines or drives policy discussions.

The few studies that exist focused on teenagers without following them into adulthood. This research fills that gap by tracking people through age 24. Given that the behavior only stabilizes and persists in a subset of young people, understanding what happens after the teen years matters enormously for targeting interventions.

“Reducing children’s aggressive tendencies and exposure to aggression and conflict, while fostering competent coping skills and supportive family environments could decrease PYPA and the burden of family aggression,” the researchers concluded. The increasing stability of the violence through the twenties suggests prevention efforts need to start early, before patterns become entrenched during the middle school years when rates peak.

---

Disclaimer: This article reports on a single peer-reviewed study conducted with a cohort in Zurich, Switzerland. While the research provides valuable longitudinal data on youth-to-parent aggression, the findings are based on self-reported behavior from participants in one urban European setting. Prevalence rates and risk factors may differ in other populations and cultural contexts. Readers should not use this information to diagnose or make clinical decisions about individual cases. Families experiencing violence should consult with qualified mental health professionals or family counselors.

---