1 In 4 Singles Would Reject Their Perfect Match To Stay Solo

New Survey: Nearly Half Of Singles Have Skipped Dating Entirely Over The Past Year

About one in four single adults say they would turn down their perfect match if that person showed up tomorrow, according to a new nationwide survey of nearly 5,000 singles. Instead of jumping into a relationship, they say they’d rather stay unattached.

That pattern fits into something bigger: deliberate solo living. Nearly half of the singles surveyed did not go on a single in-person date in the past year, yet over half say they feel happier now than they did in their last relationship, with roughly half reporting gains in confidence and lower stress too.

Kinsey Institute researchers surveyed 4,952 single adults ages 18 to 93 for the 15th Annual Singles in America Study, asking how they date, what turns them off, and whether they even want a relationship at all. Results suggest single life is a deliberate choice for many of those surveyed, rather than a waiting room for love.

Inside the Singles in America study

Researchers gathered responses from 4,952 single adults living across the United States, spanning ages 18 through 93. Men made up 51.2% of the group and women 47.9%, with a small share identifying as non-binary. Respondents came from every region of the country, with the largest share, 40.1%, living in the South. Household incomes varied widely, from under $15,000 a year (17.1% of respondents) to $150,000 or more (4.5%). Most participants identified as straight or heterosexual (87.2%), while 4.5% identified as gay or lesbian and 6.1% as bisexual. On race and ethnicity, 65.6% identified as White, 22.6% as Black or African American, and 9.7% as Hispanic or Latino, among other groups represented in smaller numbers.

Participants answered questions covering everything from how long they’ve been single to what turns them off on a first date to how they feel about marriage and monogamy.

Nearly half went on no dates last year

One of the clearest findings has nothing to do with feelings and everything to do with behavior: dating itself was rare among many of those surveyed. When asked how many in-person dates they went on in the past year, 48.0% of respondents said zero. Only 11.1% went on just one date, and the numbers drop off quickly from there.

That doesn’t mean singles are pining away, though. When asked how being single has changed their happiness compared to past relationships, 29.0% said much better now and another 23.4% said a little better, adding up to 52.4% reporting an improvement. Only 4.8% said things feel much worse. Confidence and stress followed a similar but slightly weaker pattern: 50.6% of respondents said their confidence had improved and 54.5% said their stress had eased since becoming single.

Attitudes toward looking for a relationship back this up. Only 16.3% of singles described themselves as actively seeking a committed relationship. The largest group, 44.7%, said they weren’t actively looking but would be open if the right person came along. Meanwhile, 24.1% said flatly that they prefer to stay unattached.

Staying single for a long stretch is common too. About a third of respondents, 32.7%, said they’d been single for five years or more, and 10.5% said they had never had a romantic partner at all.

The perfect match test

This is where the survey gets genuinely surprising. Respondents were asked to imagine their perfect relationship partner showing up tomorrow, then asked what they’d do. Just 45.7% said they’d want to date that person right away. A full 29.0% said they weren’t sure. And 25.3%, roughly one in four, said they would still choose to stay single.

That number sits alongside another finding that seems to pull in the opposite direction. When asked how much they agreed with the statement “I sometimes wish I didn’t have to be so independent all the time,” 60.9% of respondents agreed, either somewhat or strongly. Independence, in other words, isn’t always as comfortable as it looks from the outside.

There’s a similar tension around how singles pick partners in the first place. About a third, 34.1%, said they keep a mental checklist of qualities they want in a long-term partner. But nearly half, 45.9%, said they had fallen in love with someone who didn’t match most of what was on that list. People may think they know exactly what they want, but love doesn’t always follow the script.

Old ideas about romance haven’t gone anywhere either. Among respondents, 75.6% said they believe romantic love can last forever, 62.1% believe in love at first sight, and 73.6% believe in destiny or that some relationships are simply “meant to be.” Nearly half, 46.8%, said they had personally experienced love at first sight.

Small, everyday behavior matters just as much as these big romantic beliefs. When it comes to modern dating pet peeves, checking a phone too often during a date was the most commonly cited turn-off, selected by 38.6% of respondents, ahead of talking about exes at 37.0% and trying too hard to impress at 16.9%.

Choosing single life on purpose

Single life in this survey doesn’t look like a holding pattern before “real life” begins. It looks like an actual way of living that a lot of people have grown to prefer, even while some admit they miss having someone to lean on. Actual dates were scarce for many people in this survey, but that didn’t necessarily translate into unhappiness. If anything, the responses paint a picture of singles who can afford to be selective. And a quarter said they would pass on perfection itself just to keep the single life they already have.

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