Sighing Alone Beats Sighing With Friends, Study Finds

Laughter, Sighs, and Screams Each Follow Their Own Social Rules

A sigh apparently plays better to an empty room than to a crowd of friends. That is the surprising finding from a weeklong study of 142 adults, who reported three times a day which noises they heard, from laughs to screams, and how appropriate those sounds seemed.

A researcher at Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam set out to answer a simple-sounding question: which everyday sounds, like laughing, sighing, gasping or screaming, are considered acceptable, and when. The answer, published in Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B, depended on where a person is, who they’re with, and the general mood of the room. Laughter and sighs came out as the most widely accepted of the ten sounds studied. Screams and retching sounds landed at the bottom of the list overall. Both tend to interrupt whatever is going on, which likely explains the low marks.

Sighs were not the only sound that followed its own script. Laughter was welcome almost everywhere, while screams earned their best marks at parties and other social gatherings. Different sounds, it turns out, come with their own unwritten rules, far more specific than a blanket call for quiet in public.

A Week of Phone Surveys Tracked Which Sounds Seemed Socially Acceptable

To find out, the researcher followed 142 adults, 107 of them women, with an average age of 23. Most were university students, and 39 nationalities were represented. Three times a day for seven days, a text message prompted a quick phone survey. Each one asked where participants were, who was with them, and how the situation felt, rated on seven qualities such as formality and energy. Participants also reported whether they had recently heard anyone, themselves included, make one of ten common sounds, from crying and gasping to laughing, screaming and sighing.

For each sound reported, a follow-up question asked how appropriate most people would consider it in that exact moment, on a 1-to-9 scale from very inappropriate to very appropriate. In total, 2,670 completed surveys contained 3,821 individual sound reports.

Laughter, Screams, and Sighs Were Judged Socially Acceptable in Different Settings

Location mattered. Ratings were highest at home and in social settings like bars, parties, or a friend’s house, and dropped in workplaces, schools, and public spaces like libraries or stores. Company mattered too. Sounds were rated as more appropriate around close friends and family than around casual acquaintances or strangers.

But how much these factors mattered depended on which sound was being made. Laughter showed the biggest swings, rated higher in social settings than anywhere else and higher around close friends than around strangers or acquaintances. Laughter is a friendly signal, which may explain why it does best in settings built around connection. Participants reported hearing it in about two-thirds of surveys completed with close friends or family, but in only 13 percent of surveys completed alone. Screams followed a similar pattern, rated higher around close companions and in situations that felt positive, social and lively. That fits with the idea that screaming is not only about fear or danger, since people also scream when thrilled.

Sighs bucked the social trend. Sighs scored highest when the person was alone, ahead of close friends, acquaintances and strangers. That lines up with the idea that sighing works as a private reset, helping the body and mind settle after stress, rather than sending a message to anyone. Participants reported hearing sighs most often at work or school and around casual acquaintances, where sighs were rated lower than at home or when alone. Stress may prompt sighs whether or not the moment calls for one.

Formality and Power Gaps Were Linked to Lower Appropriateness Ratings

Beyond location and company, the feel of a situation mattered too. Formality and power differences were associated with lower ratings overall. Sounds in formal settings, or in situations with a clear power gap like talking to a boss, were rated as less appropriate. Social and upbeat situations were associated with higher ratings.

Laughter was especially sensitive to these shifts, rated higher in positive, social, lively moments and lower in formal or high-power ones. Grunts moved the other way, becoming less acceptable as situations grew more social, which fits with grunts typically signaling physical effort rather than connection with other people.

Type of Sound Explained More Variation Than Location or Company

Across these comparisons, which sound was being made explained more of the differences in appropriateness than any single situational factor studied. What someone expressed appeared to matter more than where they were or who was nearby. The patterns held after accounting for nationality, though Dutch participants gave higher ratings overall, hinting that cultural background may shape how strict these rules feel.

A sigh shows how much a sound’s welcome can depend on who is listening. The next time one slips out at a desk surrounded by coworkers, there may be a reason it feels slightly out of place.

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