Study: Comfort The Top Reason Adults Remember A Hug

Hugs Stay in Memory Mostly When They Comfort and Convey Understanding

A hug in an airport arrivals hall, a hospital corridor, or a graduation crowd can lodge in memory for decades. A survey of 15,049 UK adults, published in PLOS One, asked them to recall a hug that left a positive mark and explain why it stuck, and the most common answer was a plain one: comfort.

Personality mattered too. Empathy, attachment style, and everyday hugging habits helped predict who held onto a warm hug at all, and men and women gave somewhat different reasons.

Earlier research has tied hugging to lower stress and better daily mood, but little was known about why certain hugs become memories. Researchers from the University of Bristol, University College London, and the University of Greenwich, among others, set out to fill that gap. They describe their work as the first to examine hug memories in a large, healthy adult UK sample.

Seven in 10 Adults Recalled a Positive Hug Memory

Data came from the Touch Test, a public science project run by university researchers with BBC Radio 4 and the Wellcome Collection. Promotion on BBC programs and other media drew more than 40,000 people to an online questionnaire about touch in early 2020, mostly before UK pandemic lockdowns. The researchers kept 15,049 adults from the UK with no reported disability or long-term health condition. Ages ran from 18 to 92, averaging 56, and three in four participants were women.

One yes-or-no question did most of the work: “Is there a hug that you remember because of its positive emotional effect on you?” Yes came from 10,457 people, no from 4,589. Those who said yes then picked the single best reason from a list that included comfort, support, arousal, friendliness, happiness, following a stretch without touch, and conveying understanding. The questionnaire also measured empathy, how secure or anxious someone feels in close relationships, and everyday hugging habits.

Comfort and Understanding Outranked Every Other Reason for Remembering a Hug

Comfort drew about one in three of the 9,703 people who chose from the list, or 3,154 people. Understanding came next with 2,783, then support with 1,939. Another 754 people wrote in reasons of their own and were set aside. Arousal landed last, at 147 people, about 1.5%.

Men and women differed in their mix of reasons. Roughly two-thirds of women picked comfort or understanding, compared with about half of men. Men were likelier to pick friendliness (12.3% versus 4.8%) and arousal (3.9% versus 0.8%), though arousal was a rare choice for both, selected by 85 men and 62 women. The survey listed arousal as a single word on the menu, so exactly what respondents had in mind is unknown. Researchers rated the overall gender link as small and urged caution, since far fewer men than women answered this question, 2,197 versus 7,506.

Empathy and Attachment Style Predicted Who Remembered a Hug

Empathy made a difference. Adults who scored higher, both at understanding what others feel and at feeling along with them, were likelier to recall a meaningful hug.

Attachment, meaning how someone relates to the people closest to them, pointed in opposite directions. Those who tend to feel anxious in close relationships were likelier to recall one, while those who prize independence and keep emotional distance were less likely. That fits earlier work finding that such adults often dislike affectionate touch, such as cuddling. A reasonable guess, though this study did not test it, is that hugs land harder for people who read emotions closely or crave closeness.

Habits counted too. Adults who always greet friends and family with a hug were likelier to recall a meaningful one, while those who dislike how being hugged feels, or struggle to judge how firmly to hug, were less likely. How often someone gets a hug or a kiss on a typical day made no difference, a hint that feelings about hugging matter more than sheer volume. A short measure of how closely someone’s sense of their own body is tied to touch also predicted recall, though the authors call it preliminary.

One expected link never appeared. Adults who said their parents tucked them in with a hug and a kiss every night as children were no more likely to recall a meaningful hug, contrary to what the researchers predicted. A single survey question measured that, so the authors treat the result as exploratory.

Each of these effects was small, and none proves cause. A friend who barely remembers a hug that stayed with someone else for years may simply have a different temperament, not a colder heart, though that is a guess the data cannot confirm. Who gave the hug and where it happened probably count for plenty too, since the survey never asked.

Memorable hugs, by this survey’s account, are mostly about feeling comforted and understood. A person’s temperament and taste for hugging tracked who kept them better than gender did.

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Disclaimer: This article summarizes one published study and is for general information only. It is not medical or psychological advice and should not replace guidance from a qualified professional.

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