The Surprising Number Of Americans Who Don’t Believe They’ll Ever Find ‘The One’ (Hint: It’s Most Of Them)

Fewer than half of single Americans believe they will ever find “the one,” and having a partner does not clear up the doubt. In a new online survey of 2,000 adults, only 41% of singles said they were confident they will find “the one,” while a fifth of people already coupled up said their current partner is not their one true love.

Doubt has not stopped anyone from looking. On average, respondents said they have mistaken someone for “the one” twice before, and a third have had their hearts broken even more often than that. Two wrong guesses is the typical tally.

Love is far from a lost cause, though. A quarter of respondents (26%) still believe someone out there is truly right for them, with Gen X (28%) leaning hardest into that classic true-love mindset and Gen Z (19%) taking a more open-minded approach. One in eight went further and said a person could have multiple soulmates in a lifetime.

Singles and couples weigh in on finding the one

Talker Research surveyed 1,000 single Americans and 1,000 Americans in a relationship, all with internet access, through an online questionnaire fielded from Aug. 25 to Aug. 31, 2026. LELO commissioned the survey, and the company’s chief marketing officer, , is quoted throughout the release. Researchers set out to look at today’s dating climate and to find where the difficulty of finding “the one” may come from, whatever relationship style a person wants.

Because the sample split evenly, a few numbers translate into rough head counts. A 41% share works out to about 410 of the 1,000 singles, which leaves roughly 590 who were not confident. Nothing in the release says how many of those expect never to meet a soulmate and how many are simply unsure. Likewise, a fifth of the couples amounts to around 200 people who doubt their current partner is the one. All of these figures are self-reported opinions, not measured outcomes.

Monogamy remains the most popular relationship style, chosen by 47% of respondents. Gen Z is leading the move toward more open, flexible relationship structures, with 24% of that generation interested. No comparison figures for older generations appear in the release.

Most daters say their game has gone rusty

Regardless of relationship status, 56% of respondents admitted they are not confident they have still “got it.” Women felt rustier than men, 60% versus 47%.

Part of the problem, according to respondents, is how quickly the rules seem to have moved. Nearly one in five (18%) said they do not even know what “normal” looks like in dating anymore. Smaller groups, 11% each, said they agonize over the perfect text before hitting send, second-guess their own instincts, or feel more tongue-tied in person than they do over text. Talker’s write-up links that uncertainty to a dry spell: the average person has gone nearly a year and a half without a good date.

“Dating can often feel overwhelming, especially today when traditional rules no longer apply, and expectations keep shifting higher and higher,” said LELO CEO Luka Matutinović.

Even with the rulebook in flux, respondents agreed on a few first-date basics. Sitting down for a meal (65%), talking about what each person is looking for (61%) and sharing a first kiss (47%) topped the must-do list. Getting physical (56%), relationship history (46%), exclusivity talk (45%) and money questions (44%) should all wait until at least date two or three, respondents said.

Ghosting, social media and personal habits: obstacles to finding the one

When asked what makes dating harder, 23% blamed “ghosting” culture, the habit of cutting off contact without explanation. Social media setting unrealistic expectations drew 18%, and 16% named “profile performativeness,” where a date turns out to be unlike their online self. Gen Z singled out endless “situationships,” romances with no clear label, and commitment issues that stem from “choice overload,” at 17% each.

Respondents also turned the mirror on themselves. Ignoring red flags because the chemistry is too good (16%) was the most common “toxic” habit, followed by staying in a situationship just because the attention feels nice (14%) and overlooking incompatibility for the sake of a spark (13%). Another 11% admitted to mistaking intensity or possessiveness for “passion,” and 11% to pulling away a little just to see how hard someone will chase.

Some habits appeared to pay off. Respondents who said they found success in dating, even in relationships that did not last, credited taking things slow (28%), trusting their gut (22%) and being honest or vulnerable early on (22%). Success goes undefined in the release beyond that note about relationships that ended, and the survey did not report whether these habits led to lasting partnerships.

Couples face their own work after finding the one

Settling down did not end the struggle for people in relationships. Their biggest challenge in staying connected was communicating their evolving needs over time (23%), and another 18% said they struggle with prioritizing romance instead of routine.

One reasonable guess, and it is only a guess, is that needs shift as years pass while daily habits harden, which would make both problems easier to slide into. Whether the fifth of couples who doubt their partner is the one overlaps with those who struggle to talk about changing needs is unknown, because the release does not cross those groups.

Doubt about “the one” turned up among singles and couples alike in this survey, and it sat beside a stubborn willingness to keep looking. Belief in a single destined match may be shaky, but plenty of respondents were not waiting on fate. People who reported dating success pointed to slower starts, gut checks and early honesty, none of which requires a soulmate to be out there.

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